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Give us white-arses a chance please!

Letters to the Editor reproduced from The Bare Essentials Issue 10. June 2000

Wendy Moms joined recently with her husband Stephen. Both are newcomers to Studland, and Wendy includes a heartfelt plea to all us hardened-off brown-bums: 

Dear SUN,

I thought I'd stick my oar in as I thought some of the letters and the feature by "A Edunnam" were a bit unkind. I am a novice naturist, having only in the last few years discovered that beach life inside the red posts was more fun and civilised than outside. I remain, however, very white, including my bum which refuses to go brown or even the off-white that I went on most of me after my only week in Ibiza!

Give us white-arses a chance, please - we're not all possessed of enough time and money to go abroad. Two weeks in Cornwall, visiting near Polgaver were ruined by non-stop rain, thunder and hail (and we were in a tent!) And my house is so overlooked I can't even get my boobs out in the back garden, let alone anything else! So please give us a chance!

Anyway, I enjoyed the newsletter, and I find the thought of the National Trust and police trying to police naturists rather than keep the beach and streets safe very alarming. The Blairite nanny state protecting the textiles from the sight of nature!

If anyone has any tips on how to avoid the worst of the traffic at Studland, they would be much appreciated!

Wendy Moms

A couple of things there to think about - no double entendre intended! It's true, those of us for whom a white bum is a memory lost in the mists of time do tend to take the Mickey a bit. Perhaps we should remember that once upon a time - however early in life, Marianne! - we all had white bits. lt's good to see, though, that despite all the tribulations and setbacks, Wendy has clearly not lost her sense of humour, and I'm sure we all wish her a brown bum before too long! In all seriousness, anyone who is having difficulty getting an outdoor tan might like to watch out for salons - some of them do very good offers if you book a course of sessions in advance, and although they don't give a perfect tan (or perhaps just a little bit too perfect, if used to excess) they are good for a "starter" tan, especially just before an overseas holiday. 

Avoiding the Studland summer traffic is a nightmare, as we all know. The one way to be relatively unaffected by it is to arrive very early and leave very late - if you're planning to park beside the ferry road on the Studland side of the ferry, you really need to be there before 8am and not plan on leaving before 9 or 1O in the evening.

Barry and Marianne Grant; old stalwarts that they are, were on the beach on New Year's Day. This photo was date stamped on the back, and proves that it's never too early in the year to get your kit off!

Baz 'n' Maz also sent in a photo of the remains of the WWII pillbox in Shell Bay, which was uncovered by the winter storms. Huge slabs of concrete were revealed, having been buried not very far beneath the surface. Unfortunately, the colour contrast was not good enough to produce a good print - that's not Barry's fault, I had the same result with two different cameras.

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