Give us white-arses a chance please!
to the Editor reproduced from The Bare Essentials Issue 10. June 2000
Wendy Moms joined recently with her husband Stephen. Both are newcomers to
Studland, and Wendy includes a heartfelt plea to all us hardened-off brown-bums:
I thought I'd stick my oar in as I thought some of the letters and the
feature by "A Edunnam" were a bit unkind. I am a novice naturist,
having only in the last few years discovered that beach life inside the red
posts was more fun and civilised than outside. I remain, however, very white,
including my bum which refuses to go brown or even the off-white that I went on
most of me after my only week in Ibiza!
Give us white-arses a chance, please - we're not all possessed of enough time
and money to go abroad. Two weeks in Cornwall, visiting near Polgaver were
ruined by non-stop rain, thunder and hail (and we were in a tent!) And my house
is so overlooked I can't even get my boobs out in the back garden, let alone
anything else! So please give us a chance!
Anyway, I enjoyed the newsletter, and I find the thought of the National
Trust and police
trying to police naturists rather than keep the beach and streets safe very
alarming. The Blairite nanny state protecting the textiles from the sight of
If anyone has any tips on how to avoid the worst of the traffic at Studland,
they would be much appreciated!
A couple of things there to think about - no double entendre intended!
It's true, those of us for whom a white bum is a memory lost in the mists of
time do tend to take the Mickey a bit. Perhaps we should remember that once upon
a time - however early in life, Marianne! - we all had white bits. lt's good to
see, though, that despite all the tribulations and setbacks, Wendy has clearly
not lost her sense of humour, and I'm sure we all wish her a brown bum before
too long! In all seriousness, anyone who is having difficulty getting an outdoor
tan might like to watch out for salons - some of them do very good offers if you
book a course of sessions in advance, and although they don't give a perfect tan
(or perhaps just a little bit too perfect, if used to excess) they are good for
a "starter" tan, especially just before an overseas holiday.
Avoiding the Studland summer traffic is a nightmare, as we all know. The
one way to be relatively unaffected by it is to arrive very early and leave very
late - if you're planning to park beside the ferry road on the Studland side of
the ferry, you really need to be there before 8am and not plan on leaving before
9 or 1O in the evening.
Barry and Marianne Grant; old stalwarts that they are, were on the beach
on New Year's Day. This photo was date stamped on the back, and proves that it's
never too early in the year to get your kit off!
Baz 'n' Maz also sent in a photo of the remains of the WWII pillbox in
Shell Bay, which was uncovered by the winter storms. Huge slabs of concrete were
revealed, having been buried not very far beneath the surface. Unfortunately,
the colour contrast was not good enough to produce a good print - that's not
Barry's fault, I had the same result with two different cameras.
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